Dear Bitter Single Guy: I stumbled across your site tonight and think you have an awesome thing going here.
To the point: I’ve been involved in a long distance relationship for about three years now. She lives in NC, I live in AZ. There have been many times that we have talked about exchanging pictures and talking on the phone, and even sending letter snail mail. I have given her my address and phone number, yet I have received no call or mail from her. She hasn’t given me her info (phone number or address). She has pictures of me that I have emailed her and she has also viewed my webcam, but she hasn’t given me the same. We also used to talk online every day or at least email each other several times a day. These days, if I hear from her twice in one week, it’s a good week.
I feel like she has something to hide and it’s probably time to cut ties and move on. But I am the type to not let go of a relationship. I am deeply in love with her and don’t want to see things end. Please give me your honest opinion on what you think I should do. Love-Bitten, Confused Man.
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Dear LBCM: Does the Bitter Single Guy understand you correctly that in three years in this relationship you have neither seen nor spoken to your girlfriend? That all your contact has been strictly by email? LBCM, the BSG thinks this is an example of when good technology goes bad. The BSG is all about online dating and using all of one’s resources to stay in contact, but the nature of a loving relationship is connection. You obviously have a strong connection through the words you type, but if you haven’t even seen her or spoke to her, what’s really there?
LBCM, the BSG is now feeling a little paranoid on your behalf (although the BSG thinks he would have felt this way after a couple of weeks, not three years). What if she’s a dude? What if she’s 75 years old? What if she’s a 75 year old dude? Not to say that there isn’t room for all types of love and that you and grandpa might live very happily together, but geez LBCM what else could be going on here?
If the BSG were you, he might stage a little reconnaissance mission to North Carolina to get a glimpse of this Tantalizing Tadpole from afar. But knowing how stalker-like that seems, the BSG just recommends moving on to someone with a face and a voice.
Now, there are those of you who have seen way too many after-school specials and are now thinking that the BSG has been unreasonably harsh here. You’re imagining a girl who was horribly disfigured when she saved a bunch of orphans from a burning bus. Now she’s so traumatized by the sight of her burned features that he can’t bear to be seen or to talk to anyone and doesn’t this girl deserve love, too? Yes dear readers…Burn Victim Girl definitely deserves love, but there’s a point where even she needs to step up and tell LBCM what the heck is going on with her elusiveness.
Or (the BSG is WAY out in weirdo-land here) maybe she’s a SPY! And she can’t let herself be seen or heard because it would endanger national security…OR maybe she’s an ALIEN! Yeah, probably she’s just a 75 year old man, but regardless of who this Tantalizing Tadpole is, you have a right to some more information LBCM. ~BSG~